Should I stay or should I go

Subtle ding and then stop. Once the doors of the elevator opened I could smell the freshly brewed coffee. I took my headphones off and listened to the buzz around me. One flat white, just because today I missed my friend who always orders a flat white.

I looked for an empty table and found one in the corner. Perfect for people watching. I put my headphones back on and started observing people, trying to imagine what kind of conversations they were having. After a while, I started to reflect that on my own life. The people that I have around me, the people that I have had, and the people that have not yet entered my life.

For the first time in weeks, I felt like my thoughts were running again. Faster than before. What should I do next? Which door should I open? Am I going in the right direction?

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Well, at least I know I’m not going in the wrong direction.

I’ve been in situations and places where nothing feels like home. Where everything looks perfectly fine but deep down I knew something wasn’t right. The winds have changed but so has the course.

I’ve had a few weeks to figure out what shall I do next. Should I stay or should I go?

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For the first time in a long time, I feel like staying. After years and years of unstable living situations and living on and off from a suitcase, I think I need a break from that. Not only is it consuming emotionally, but also physically, and (above all) economically.

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For some reason, I feel like I’ve been writing this text many times before. Anyway, I look forward to finding something new to keep myself occupied and not longing for that gypsy life just yet.

xx